Blog 12 Mattering

Blog 12  Mattering

I was thinking about this very topic of “mattering to others” about a month ago when I was wrapping up a video session for Brief Counseling with my student.  I was thinking about I got home an hour late from class because I had a meeting with my professor and so I didn’t get much sleep.  I had to rush my child off to preschool and then drive 20 miles to see my student and hurry up and make it back to pick up my son in time.  I didn’t have time to eat and I was feeling so stressed and burdened with school requirements and my obligations as a mother and wife that I was not feeling very enthusiastic to be working with my student.  Once I got in there and we got going everything else I was concerned with disappeared.  I left my session with her thinking, wow I just got to pop into her life for 30 minutes and help her grieve, talk, and grow.  I felt so pumped up and excited when I left I didn’t feel too hungry or tired.  I was really happy to have made a difference in her day, and perhaps even her life.  I know for me, mattering to others is the reason why I chose this line of work and it’s the reason that’s going to keep me plugging along.

Working one on one with my student provided an opportunity to for me to directly observe how I mattered to her.  Rayle mentioned, elementary school counselors experienced the greatest job satisfaction and the lowest levels of job-related stress and also spent the most time working directly with students.  When I link these statements to my own experience I hypothesize that counselors are most satisfied in their jobs when they are spending time with people.  I think I am in interested in counseling because I am a very social person.  When I am stuck in tasks that isolate me from people I become depressed.  I can see how school counselors who spend most of their days chained to a desk and pushing paper would become dissatisfied with their job.

As Rayle mentions, role ambiguity and an increase in expectations are incredibly stressful and lead to job dissatisfaction (Rayle, 2006).  I agree, I feel very anxious when I do not have clear directions and I am unsure of what is expected of me.  I even begin to resent the person or authority that is responsible for piling on the unclear expectations.  I tend to believe a person or entity that does not take the time and care to set forth clear expectations, cannot possibly expect me to provide them with the best results I can accomplish.  I find myself being assertive and asking for more clarification but I will admit there come’s a point when I do not fee like I am being heard that I become bitter and resentful.  I know assertiveness, asking for help, and managing my stress will be a life-long balancing act. 

Rayle, A. (2006). Do school counselors matter? Mattering as a moderator between job stress and job satisfaction. Professional School Counseling, 9(3), 206-215.